Magic is an aphrodisiac, you know.
I just really wish they had a flashback to that fu manchu…
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[Just as a warning, this and all future rewinds, Mad Men or not, will contain spoilers throughout for not only this episode, but others as well]
With it being a slow season for new material, this makes the perfect time to look back and reflect on what once was and will become from the past. With Mad Men not premiering for at least another seven months, I need my fix. From the first episode I watched, I loved it and had too many questions to not keep on watching. Then more questions came. Then BAM shocker from nowhere. Then another and another! And before you know it you’re getting headaches and hot flashes from weeks of not watching when it mysteriously disappears from your DVR…
We get by with a little help from our friends, right? So Roger offers up some insight and general info that you will find conveniently wrapped up in italics.
So we start with episode one: “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes”
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Portia's only facial expression.
Previously on the Bad Girls Club…Natalie is a cunt, Kendra is a pathetic famewhore, Amber is crazy and makes me miss last season’s Ambers even more, Flo is a raging bulldyke, Portia has no facial expressions, Annie is annoying but the smartest one in the house, and Kate is actually a fierce bitch.
I hate Natalie more than anyone in BGC history, possiby more than anyone in reality television history–wait, no, there was Chatty Natty from Big Brother 9. And Nastalie from Big Brother 11. Maybe I just have a thing against Natalies. Anyway, Natalie is a cunt. I feel like I know her because I’ve known people just like her. Extremely insecure. Totally crazy and cries hysterically over shit she puts in her own head. Probably spoiled by her parents. Tries to manipulate people but isn’t very good at it. All bark and no bite. Thinks she’s a such a big deal because she’s friends with that guy from Moesha. We all know someone like that, right? Cunt. I do love to hate her though. I hope she sticks around long enough for everyone to turn against her and have her decide to leave and pretend it’s not because everyone hates her.
When we last left our girls, Flo was roid raging because she took too long to leave a party and the rest of them were too lazy to check if she was staying or not. Understandable, but not that serious. Apologies are not good enough, but I’d bet a flash of some titties would be. Despite everyone’s wishes, Kendra decided to keep Natalie in the house even though the bitch punched her in the face. Why? Because she wants to fuck that guy from Moesha (not Ray J…that’s a different reality show). I don’t know why it was left up to Kendra…if one person objected she should have been out, but I’m not complaining. As I said, I love to hate her.
Highlights from this week:
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Khandi Alexander playing a mother? Now I feel old. Thanks a lot television.
Khandi Alexander! She was in Newsradio! That was the first show that I watched and thought, “oh wow I am totally smarter than the average American watching this critic darling of a show. It’s been on so many different days and times, I am an Advanced human being who can track it down. This show is so rewarding!” Khandi was in that! And tonight she played Lem’s mother, who happened to be dating his donut stealing, bitch slapping opponent at the Veridian offices. Lem’s disgust with this disappeared into the background however once Lem’s lifelong issue of never getting his intellectual, successful scientist mother to take his experiments seriously cropped up.
Zach Braff ponders how stupid the puny journalist person is
Let’s say you’re at a party, and you would prefer to throw up in your own home than in a strange exotic bathroom; you hug your friends good night and venture off towards the car or subway. But then you realize you forgot something, and you come back. That’s always awkward right? Well imagine it’s a going away party being thrown in your honor. Because you’re moving to Indonesia (you’re 98 percent sure it’s a legit enterprise you’re getting yourself into). You even shed a tear as you’re hugging and kissing your friends goodbye as it dawns on you you may not see these people for a very long time. How awkward would it be if you left and realized you forgot something then? So awkward you probably wouldn’t even bother coming back. Of course, iPod’s aren’t cheap…fuck it, you’re going back in there.
Seth Rogen and James Franco
So what’s up with this James Franco character? He was a brooding young thespian, making a name for himself on Freaks and Geeks and making no secret that he likes to read books and shit. He spent most of this decade going to nerd buildings and making serious faces in front of cameras. But now Sweet Baby James is dialing down the pretentious doucher knob to 7, accepting more roles on the jokemaking end of the hollyweird spectrum like Pineapple Express and the “What Up With That?!” sketch. Hell, he’s even doing comedy for the Advanced by being on General Hospital ironically unironically! And tonight James hosted Saturday Night Live. What up with that indeed?!