Zach Braff ponders how stupid the puny journalist person is
Let’s say you’re at a party, and you would prefer to throw up in your own home than in a strange exotic bathroom; you hug your friends good night and venture off towards the car or subway. But then you realize you forgot something, and you come back. That’s always awkward right? Well imagine it’s a going away party being thrown in your honor. Because you’re moving to Indonesia (you’re 98 percent sure it’s a legit enterprise you’re getting yourself into). You even shed a tear as you’re hugging and kissing your friends goodbye as it dawns on you you may not see these people for a very long time. How awkward would it be if you left and realized you forgot something then? So awkward you probably wouldn’t even bother coming back. Of course, iPod’s aren’t cheap…fuck it, you’re going back in there.
In case you haven’t figured it out, your name is Zach Braff. You starred on Scrubs for eight years, and when you left in last season’s finale we might have cried. We don’t remember and it’s totes not important. Anyway, it was touching, and it was cool because Mitch Lawrence, the creator and executive producer of the show, was the unnamed janitor that says good night to you as you left Sacred Heart that night and it was a really cool touch for the fans. But then you came back for what we heard was six episodes for Scrubs (Med School), and it’s kind of awkward. “My Finale” is now kind of a cheat, unless you stopped watching the series after that episode. If you did that of course, you’re not a real fan, and you didn’t really care in the first place. DAMN THIS CYCLICAL EXISTENCE!!!
Tonight, you were humorously over-the-top with your final class, showing your students a maudlin retrospective on your semester’s worth of work. You winked at us with remarking to Turk that you had left and come back so many times even you were confused. You broke Turk’s heart by saying “Eagles” are old and you wanted to find out who gave you the one bad evaluation. You mentioned how Turk and yourself should be like an “interracial Hardy Boys”, making us feel bad for all of the future episodes where your imagination wont be a part of the show. You were somehow shocked that Dr. Cox was the one who ruined your good time. You took his advice for one last time and it worked, helping your female avatar in the process. And thanks to a little white lie about the cast of “Twilight” walking around campus, you and Turk performed the “Super Eagle”. It was glorious and thankfully not heavy handed. We’re glad you came back for your iPod (we know how much you like Africa), but it’s time to say goodbye. Again, thanks for the laughs.
Potential tweets/Facebook status updates:
- Well I would have touched your heart, but I did that to another female student and it resulted in me having to watch a four-hour video called ‘Boundaries’
- Oh yeah art is the WORST
- Turk am I needy? “No.” Tell me a hundred times
- I can’t get with a gal in the same bed as Enid’s. It gives me the softies.
- Who has the courage to say ‘I AM THE COWARD!’?
- I’ll admit that you did make that…bitch yours.
- This might be the last eagle before the next last eagle!
- SUPER EAGLE!!!!!!!!!
P.S.
- Zach Braff is scheduled to make one final appearance in the January 12th episode. It will involve J.D. and Elliot dealing with their soon to be born child.
- Sunny Day! I’m a fan. Hope to see her again.
- I guess by Dr. Cox referencing Santa Claus that this was the “Christmas episode”, lack of decorations be damned.
- It’s fun to see Dr. Cox giving horrible relationship advice to people besides J.D, Elliot, Turk or Carla. He even revealed that Jordan once snipped off his ponytail. Ponytail? Where is THAT flashback?
- My puppy dog look needs work. Lucy’s does not.
- Dr. Cox can trigger the dropping of balloons with his mind.
- I’m okay with Drew and Denise now being a “relationship”, and I liked how Denise found out that this was the case.
- Dave Franco and Kelso becoming partners in sleeze? What took so long?
Leave a reply