The penultimate episode. Sigh. Onward.
Ted talks to Phil and Lem and it turns out all of the stuff they make is evil. “Oh my god, maybe we’re evil scientists!” Phil diabolically laughs, but it’s just out of stress. Veronica is trying out her speech to the Germans that are visiting about their languae translator thingie but hears Linda trying to relieve stress at LindaBagel, some game Linda invented to relieve stress. Veronica gets too caught up in trying to beat Linda she forgets to greet the Germans. Phil and Lem demonstrate the language translator, which has the voice of a “90 foot robot.” This isn’t pleasing to the Krauts, so Ted suggests they hang out for a few days while they work out the kinks. Ted is infatuated with the pretty German CEO who keeps inadvertently making lewd statements. “Ted, will you eat me?” “We’ll go out to dinner,” Ted says, “and teach you the word ‘with’.” My parents met the same way.
Phil and Lem become obsessed with inventing something good. Veronica lectures Ted about having too much hubris when she tells Linda she’s going to definitely kick her ass this time at LindaBagel. Linda is happy right now because she finally has Veronica beat at something. Ted lectures Linda about hubris when he tells her his date with Greta the German is going to go great. I see what you did there. Greta is into Ted but unfortunately the language translator is now in Phil’s voice and it’s kind of a major turnoff. The next morning Ted tells them about their problem but Phil keeps saying things he heard last night. Veronica asks them to invent an evil bagel so she can cheat at LindaBagel. Ted and Greta have problems in bed because of the Phil voice. I don’t blame Ted at all – it’d be annoying to hear Phil’s voice and I don’t even know him. The word “schnitzel” is used a lot, which is great because that is a funny word to say. Schnitzel. Schnitzel. I bought a schnitzel in Seattle. Seattle.
The krauts say no to the language translator. Phil and Lem decide to take a stand and don’t want to invent any more evil things. While Linda and Veronica are playing their get-the-bagel-in-the-vent game they overhear Ted and Greta having makeup sex, but since they’re using the language translator it sounds like Ted and Phil are having sex. Ha. Veronica finally wins at LindaBagel and goes to get the winning bagel from the vent. Unfortunately it isn’t sturdy and the vent collapses. Phil and Lem spot her on the ground and announce they will no longer be evil, dammit. “I won!” Veronica says.
Things to be said in Phil’s voice
-”This isn’t a library, you can’t just leave your trash anywhere!”
-”Oh god we have unhappy Germans. Nothing good ever came from that.”
P.S.
-Veronica claims “The Three Stooges” had a lot of Curlys because sex ruins things.
-Veronica calls Lem and Phil, “Glasses and Mustache.”
-Apparently Lem ruined “The Sixth Sense”, “Rocky IV” and “The Godfather” to Phil.
-I loved Phil and Lem’s reaction to Ted saying she’s dating Greta now – audible gasps of joy.
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