Friday night was the final episode of The Tonight Show hosted by Conan O’Brien. Seven million people watched.
Where were they for the past seven months?
I struggled over the weekend to properly write about the final episode. In the end, I found it difficult to separate it with the entire failed program. Conan’s speech at the end was heartfelt. The video is below, with some of the transcript:
Walking away from ‘The Tonight Show’ is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Making this choice has been enormously difficult. This is the best job in the world, I absolutely love doing it, and I have the best staff and crew in the history of the medium. But despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment. Every comedian dreams of hosting ‘The Tonight Show’ and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. I’ve had more good fortune than anyone I know and if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-11 parking lot, we’ll find a way to make it fun.
To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I’ll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism- it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere.
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.
The last fortnight had been must-see television, and neither the acidic Letterman nor the plastic Leno could have really pulled off talking about not being bitter without it coming off as platitudinous. But I was bothered by Conan saying he did the The Tonight Show “his way”. In fact, he hadn’t – there was a lot of compromise. All of the talk of keeping his hip 12:35 sensibilities to 11:35 was drowned out in O’Brien’s mind with his fear of ruining The Tonight Show legacy – a legacy that no longer really exists. We saw none of the beautifully genius, silly and weird characters like Fedex Pope, Pimpbot 5000 or mini-Jay Leno on the earlier hour – Triumph the Insult Comic Dog made his monthly appearances, but only the Bonarroo sketch seemed to be particularly funny. When the Masturbating Bear showed up on Wednesday’s program it was the first and last time he appeared before midnight, and the world did not end. The lesson Coco taught us the most was something he didn’t say: Don’t compromise your art.
Stuff I Talked To Tilda Swinton About…
- I liked Steve Carell doing the NBC exit interview. I was particularly proud of myself for spotting the Up In The Air references. You know, because it’s such an indie movie.
- “This is cream soda.”
- If HBO decides to take Coco’s advice, Tilda Swinton is totally game.
- Tom Hanks alluded to the O’Brien/Bob Odenkirk/Robert Smigel SNL writing team of the late 80’s. Conan’s first ever appearance on SNL and I’d guess on television was during a 1988 Hanks opening monologue. He has one line but it’s history, and if you don’t respect it you’re doomed to repeat it, like that time when you did that thing that was bad. Remember? History does. (Coco shows up at 3:10.)
- Tom Hanks came out to “Lovely Rita” by The Beatles. Hanks’s wife is of course Rita Wilson, and NBC actually does have to shell out a little more money than they’d like when a Beatles song is played.
- Where was Andy during “Freebird”? Was he already hitting the cream soda?
- Did.not.like Neil Young singing “Long May You Run”. It is so clearly about a friggin car. This isn’t the Jay Leno farewell show (Redux). Someone suggested that perhaps Young was being “meta”. This theory was immediately refuted when I pointed out that he wore a Hawaiian shirt. We all know that anyone who wears a Hawaiian shirt cannot possibly grasp the concepts of meta.
- The Freebird band consisted of Beck, Billy Gibbons (aka ZZ Top dude), Ben Harper, Will Ferrell and his lady Viveca Paulin. I’m 83 percent sure Beck’s guitar wasn’t plugged in. Conan ain’t too shabby on the axe.
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