Shut Up It's On

Just thanking a little local help is all...

I couldn’t tell you why but I hate when they spend two episodes in the same place. We have a whole world to see! Let’s get out of Chile already!

The bus station doesn’t open til 5:00 in the morning so everyone gets there at the same time and is on the same bus to Santiago. From there, they have to take another bus to Puerto Varas and then drive out to a resort, Petrohue. From there they take a boat to Isla Margarita, a little island located in between a whole bunch of volcanoes. Fun!

Once in Santiago things get a little hairy. Joe and Heidi have teamed up with Carol and Brandy and Joe “saved” them a place in line before everyone else. They got on the first bus out, the only ones; and other buses were filling up left and right. Jeff decides he isn’t going to stand around and wait to get in hours later than everyone else, so he finds another way. Team Big Brother teams up with Brent and Caite to find another bus, and they do! And this bus? Gets them in hours before everyone else. And they aren’t the only ones thinking at the station. Cord and Jet find another ticket agent and get on the same bus.

They leave and once on the bus the cowboys realize they leave the connect station a half hour later. They try to get on the other bus but find out that they would actually have to go down the street to a different station. Team BB and Miss Teen South Carolina are in the dark about this and miss their bus AND the cowboy’s bus too. It wasn’t too costly though, they still get in before almost all the other teams. But those cowboys are way ahead.

They get to Petrohue a few hours before the trail opens, but it doesn’t matter because they still get to the island and are on the way to the Detour task before any other team even reaches the island.

The Detour is a choice between llama adoration and condor consternation. If they choose llamas they have to dress a llama is traditional wear for a festival on the island. These temperamental beasts though, can be challenging to work with. Condor, they have to don a bird suit and try to fly out to a buoy that holds their clue. It is freezing water and they will definitely get wet.

Naturally most teams choose llama since on paper, it seems easier. For most, yes, for the detectives, no. I always find that whenever someone says they’re good with animals, they never are on camera. Only three teams chose condor and for what it’s worth, it looked fun.

A few people get seriously lost along the way or just fall really far behind, but in the end none of them were greatly affected by it. And by greatly affected, I mean eliminated.

After they finish their Detour they have to get to to do a Road Block at the Onces Bellevista Farm. There, they have to gather the ingredients for a German cake Kuchen. I feel like I’ve had this cake, and it is delicious. What they make seem like a loop is a baker’s dozen, but no one messes that up. The issue with some is the cows. They’re pooing all over the place and kicking and mooing. I wouldn’t be able to handle this. One cow got a real nice kick in to the grandma, Judy (as if being in last wasn’t enough cow?) but she powered on. Later on in the exit interview she said she was okay, so it’s alright to laugh? Yesh.

Once they bring all the ingredients to the kitchen and the bakers count everything out, they get the clue to their Pit Stop. They have to get back to Puerto Varas and find the Gruta de la Virgen where Phil waits for them.

As expected, the cowboys arrive first and everyone else gets there without much issue. Even after the detectives got seriously lost on the way to Once Bellavista Farm, they raced by grandma and finished before them leaving Judy and Shannon to be eliminated this leg of the race.

In the previews for next week we don’t get to see anything but the lesbian couple being rude and bitchy to the cowboys about their win. How strange. The meanest people on the race complaining and prodding for tips in a rude manner? STRANGE.

Things you can say to sooth a llama into wearing a scarf:

“Bus, uh bus. Take us, uh, there. Bus.”
“I was just on a roll and you cut it off, maybe we’re not working so well together anymore.”
“Hopefully he got out of the 8th grade.”
“You used the word fallacy the other day.” “I don’t know that word.”
[while discussing wearing a bird suit] “At least we go out with some dignity, you know?”
“You KNOW I’m gunna be allergic to llamas.”
“San…Jose. H-O-S-E”
“You were a little foamy at the end there Bess.”
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