Tonight joining the How I Met Your Mother prime-time players was Carrie Underwood. I knew three things about Ms. Underwood going in: 1) She once sang an above-average neo-country song about getting revenge on a cheatin’ man by getting all smashy with his beloved car. 2) She is engaged to a professional hockey player whose name escapes me. He isn’t a Ranger or the insufferable Sidney Crosby, so it doesn’t really matter. 3) She is on the attractive side.
How did she do? She did fine. It wasn’t Britney Spears in her second appearance on the show bad and it wasn’t Jamie Foxx in Ray good. It was just nice and ordinary. So let’s focus on the episode.
Saget Ted admits that in this one story he’s telling, he isn’t the starry-eyed romantic, he’s a jerk. Hmm do go on. In the past (present, whatever) Barney talks about the perfect bait to get women to come back to his place: teacup pig! It works on Carrie Underwood, but as Ted is about to kiss her she mentions a boyfriend. I mean, he’s not REALLY her boyfriend. Turns out Carrie just wants to string Ted along, just in case her dream guy finally dumps her for good. Turns out the rest of the gang has been hooked or been the hooker. Dorky teenage Marshall was hooked by Lisa Taylor, but one night she walked right by him while he fell asleep waiting for her in the snow. Ted thinks that’s ridiculous, I mean she DID say she really likes him she just…can’t see him…right now. Aha. Lily says Scooter, her ex is working at her school’s cafeteria, is still hooked on her. Marshall wasn’t aware of this: he assumed that when Lily mentioned “Lunch Lady Scooter” she was referring to something else entirely (check the quotes at the bottom). When Carrie walks into MacLaren’s with a slew of her super foxy co-workers, Barney changes his mind and insists Ted stick with this hopeless cause.
Barney’s about-face is due to some sort of specific infatuation for women in the pharmaceutical industry. They’ve always been hot, he claims. Yeah about that…I worked at a pharm for a year and a half. No. Come on television, what are you doing?
Anyway, Carrie breaks up with the dream guy but is continuing to be cold to our lovely Theodore. Ted still doubts he’s being hooked. Robin points out that Ted leads poor Henrietta, the girl from the library on. Yeah, if your name is Henrietta you’re either old or destined to have an unrequited love interest or both. Henrietta is completely in love with Ted but he doesn’t see it. Saget Ted calls current Ted a jerk for that. Carrie gives Ted a call and asks Ted to be her date for a friend’s wedding. Jackpot!
Cut to hotel room at wedding site: When Carrie gets back together with her boyfriend, the best man, she forgets to inform Ted, making it super awkward. Also he’s a jerk. Carrie is on his hook. Ted sees that, and his spell is broken. Because he’s a good guy he tries to make things right with Henrietta and get her to stop pining for him. Unfortunately Ted took the wrong tux jacket, so when he bends down to pick something up in front of Hen’s door, the engagement ring jerk best man was holding onto falls out. And that is when ‘rietta opens the door. Oh no you..oh you see…IT IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU THINK!
Barney’s world is also shattered, when he meets the newest pharm girl, a nice but, corpulent lady. Boo to the hoo.
Marshall tries to train Lily to finally shut down Scooter once and for all. He trains Lily by making her tell the super cute teacup pig that there is no way they will ever be together…right now. NO! Stop saying “right now”! She finally does it, but Marshall sees Scooter’s eyes and says it for her. Guess the door is still open for good old Scooter. Poor bastard.
Solid episode, although the formula of Ted being told about the rules of the dating world when he realllllyyy should know them all by now is getting old.
And no, I will not comment on my career as being one who is hooked or a hooker. I don’t think we know each other well enough yet.
Future Country-Tinged But Palpable To The MTV Masses Album Titles
“Um, who’s buying canned chili and not eating it immediately?!”
“…right now.”
“Dude, I’m a girl, our girl parts are like a spider web, sometimes you’re gonna catch some things you don’t want”
“I thought you were referring to some sort of long overdue device that carries around those poor unappreciated lunch ladies!”
“If it were me I’d be riding that Scooter all day long ’til I broke that thing in half.”
“A true gentleman invents a pretense to lure an honorable lady into his apartment.”
“You could be my secret boyfriend who does all of my homework for me.”
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