Previously on Chuck…Chuck and Sarah have officially gotten over each other and moved on with Hannah and Shaw respectively. And simultaneously, which is convenient, because you never want your ex to move on before you do.
This week, that convenience goes out the window.
We start off with something for the ladies (and gaydies). Ellie discusses Chuck with Awesome’s abs. She feels out of the loop, since Chuck used to tell her everything, like that his first crush was Mrs. Seaver from Growing Pains. (Maggie was kind of a MILF though, wasn’t she?)
Awesome advises Ellie to tell Chuck how she feels about being kept out of the loop. Which leads to her awkwardly meeting a naked Hannah. He introduces her as “a girl…who is a friend…” and then alludes to the fact that they just boned. Nice one, Rico Suave. Chuck promises to make it up to Ellie by cooking dinner for the four of them.
Cut to Sarah, Shaw, and Casey on a mission. Sarah attempts to cool things down with Shaw and gives him some bullshit excuse, but her face explains it all. You know the face…when you just banged that dude/chick you thought was hot but not relationship material only to discover how clingy they are and immediately regret it, but at the same time the sex was great and you want to do it again? Yea, that’s the one. Obviously she didn’t bang him yet, she just had a weak moment last week, but you know Shaw is amazing in bed. Well, this is the part where she lightly pushes him away until she convinces herself that maybe she’ll grow to like him so she gets to fuck his brains out until she realizes it’s not going to work out. I give them 3 months tops.
They capture a Ring assassin, Rafe Gruber. Chuck’s mission is to assume Gruber’s identity and find out who his target was while Casey gets to play torture and interrogate the guy. Gruber hits on Sarah, so Shaw knocks him out. Really? She can take care of herself. I’m sure that was a turn-off for her.
Chuck’s kinda good at this. He meets with Gruber’s contacts, a couple of old-school mobsters. One of them recognizes Casey, so Chuck has to torture him. He pulls out one of his fucking teeth. “Is this stuff sterile?…I wanna kill him, not some secondary infection.”
The extraction team arrives, and Chuck flashes so he can take them all out before escaping with the mobsters (and leaving Casey in safe hands). I love how much Chuck has grown as a spy, and I love how proud of him Casey is. Sarah, on the other hand, is still worried about Chuck losing his innocence.
Sarah and Shaw save Chuck’s ass by preparing that dinner for him before everyone arrives. Of course Chuck’s dinners are normally terrible, but Ellie is naive as usual. Hannah makes some lame toast about feeling like she’s exactly where she’s supposed to be.
Awesome: “Smells delish! My taste buds are fist pumpin’ each other, bro.”
The next day, Hannah invites Chuck to meet her parents and then almost fucks up Chuck’s life and answers his (Rafe’s) phone. Close call, but the mobsters just stopped by to tell him they found his target.
More eye candy. Will those pecs work on Sarah?
Twist! Chuck’s target is Shaw! KILL HIM KILL HIM!
Clearly the pecs do work, because she tells him her real name: Sam. Then they make out.
Seeing and hearing all of this, Chuck has a minor freakout and talks out his feelings with the mobsters.
Mobster #1: “Wait a second. The guy you’re supposed to whack is banging your girl?”
Chuck: “It sure seems that way, doesn’t it?”
Mobster #2: “Jeez. This unlucky guy is about to get double dead.”
Chuck tells them a bullet is too good for this guy, he’s gotta go over and do the job face to face. Chuck and Shaw fight while the mobsters watch. The real Gruber shows up and takes out the mobsters and then heads over to take out the good guys.
We hear a gunshot and Sarah falls to the ground, but it turns out Casey showed up just in time and took out Gruber with the sniper rifle. I’ll admit, I might have gone “oh shit!” for a second. Oldest trick in the book, but it still gets me every time.
Chuck has a heart-to-heart with Ellie before heading to dinner with Hannah and her family. He pulls her aside and breaks up with her before dinner even starts. What a dick move.
Hannah: “I hope that your lies keep you warm at night.”
Sarah (do I have to call her Sam now?) totally bangs Shaw for real now. The end.
Next week: Chuck can’t flash. Expect a few erectile dysfunction jokes.
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