Are there two sweeter words in the English language other than Nerd Fight? Probably. In a related story, this episode involved nerd fighting. It turns out that I like it.
The boys forget about getting dinner when they spot and acquire a box full of pop culture memorabilia at a garage sale. For sixty bucks! Leonard and Raj team up to oh snap on Ghostbusters 2 while Wolowitz, both cutely and predictably, needs to sit down when he discovers the Alf doll. Apparently an 11-year-old Wolowitz would sleep with an Alf doll at night thinking Alf would bring his father back, but his father never came back. Jesus christ that’s depressing.
I love Wolowitz. If it were up to me the show would just be him and Raj. But I’m not in charge. Yet.
Also in the box is a ring meant to replicate THE ring from Lord of the Rings. You know, the one ring to rule them all? It turns people evil and invisible and you’re guaranteed to finish in the top three in your fantasy baseball leagues and shit. That ring. According to Wolowitz’s “guy” (who is most definitely Eddie Krispel) the movie produced nine rings, three of which were given to the cast, five were destroyed, and one was stolen. The gang is therefore in possession of the stolen ring. Sheldon demands that he have it due to maritime law. Leonard wants to return it to Peter Jackson. Raj wants to sell it for a jetski. Wolowitz agrees with Leonard, as long as he can be a hobbit in his next movie. Leonard gives the ring/necklace to Penny to wear while they decide what to do with it. And also so there’s a scene where Sheldon tries to poach it while Penny is asleep. Somebody call Merriam and Webster: we have a new definition for the word “Normal”.
At work, Raj gets his cousin lawyer involved. The lawyer isn’t very good and no jetskis are in the young man’s future. Eventually the situation devolves to the point where all four of our beloved nerds refuse to let go of the ring and decide that whoever can hold on the longest gets to keep it. This creates the extended sight gag of the four of them all trying to walk together.
SO NORMAL!
Leonard drops out when Penny dangles a Victoria’s Secret bag and the implication that she will wear the contents of said bag in his face. Wolowitz and Raj try to psyche Sheldon out by implying that his beloved memaw (grandmother) once fornicated. That’s cold. Sheldon has a dream that he obtained the ring. As he’s washing it in the bathroom sink he looks up to see he has turned into Gollum.
What’s scarier his face or the periodic table shower curtain? I kid I kid. Funny I don’t see Unobtanium on that curtain. Look at me, such an Assholigen.
Anyway the three remaining participants wake up and can’t find the ring. Leonard informs them that the ring fell on the floor in the middle of the night, so he Fedexed it back to Peter Jackson’s office in New Zealand. And he is definitely not going to clean up whatever happened in the bathroom. Leonard is a lying liar who lies: he put it in a shoebox under his bed. Sheldon figured he was full of shit and attempts to steal it while he’s asleep. He doesn’t get punched in the face like last time but we’re left to believe he wont be successful this time either.
Chuck Lorre talks about what it’s like to be old. Lorre’s little diatribes almost make up for him bringing Two and a Half Men into existence.
Things to say to dumb guys at the gym Penny used to date
“What do you two talk about after the coitus?!”
“I pity that’s illogical!”
“How is this ‘Maritime Salvage’?” “Besides the water how is it not?”
“But there are no jewish hobbits.” “You haven’t been to my house on Rosh Hashanah.”
“Penny made me watch all five seasons of ‘Sex and the City’.” “There are six seasons dude.” “Crap!”
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