Damn. Damn damn damn. I was wrong to think that tonight’s episode was going to be below-average because it was a Jin/Sun flashback. For one thing, I forget that they were Desmond and Penny before Desmond and Penny existed. For another, it didn’t even matter: the show is finally bringing it this year, and you can tell, even if you don’t know what “it” is.
Lockeness gives Jin advice about his ridiculous scar. Lockeness explains that all of the names that weren’t crossed off in the cave have to leave the island together. That’s news to me. Sayid informs the Monster that he can’t feel anger, happiness, or pain. The Monster says that’s good for the trouble that’s coming ahead. Hey remember when you asked me what “foreboading” means? When Mr. Clean walks away, Jin wants to make a run for it to find Sun. Just then Widmore’s team attacks the camp. One of his goons who sounds like Artz kind of asks Zoe if that’s “him”, looking at Jin. It is.
Sun gets fed up waiting for Richard to come back. She stalks off to her tomato garden. Jack mentions something like he remembers her starting the garden something like “ten thousand years ago.” As the squeaky wheels in my head turn, Jack tries to tell Sun about the lighthouse. That was a big moment for Mr. Sheppard. Sun couldn’t care less about the mythology of the series; she just wants Jin. Guess she took selfish lessons from Jack.
The Lockeness monster approaches Sun, offering to reunite her with Jin. She runs like a friggin deer. She trips at some point, but the Monster got bored or something and stopped pursuing her. Ben finds her. After the injury, Sun can only speak in Korean, although she can still understand English. Sure okay.
Back at Team Evil, Lockeness sees what happened and that Jin was taken. Before he can leave to go fetch him Claire asks about what he told Jin about the cave. Claire is concerned that Aaron won’t remember who she is once they get off the island, and can Kate not come on the trip pretty please? Locke claims they need Kate, but you know, once they leave, “whatever happens, happens”. Wink wink. I bet every viewer of this show would help you take Kate out of the picture back inland Claire. There’s a funny moment where Sawyer asks Lockeness why he doesn’t just smoke across the water to the other island. “If I can do that why would I still be on this island?” “Oh that’s right,” Sawyer says. “That’d be ridiculous.”
Jin is trapped in Room 23. When he’s being annoying, Zoe tasers him. Zoe points out Jin signed off on the map of electromagnetic spots on the island back in the seventies. Oh the seventies, they were like a week ago. Jin will only answer any questions coming from Widmore’s mouth.Fair enough. This scene was clearly written so we can go, “oh man Room 23″ and “I don’t like Zoe already although she was in Singles.”
The Monster shows up to greet Charles and the Widmoreians. “A wise man once said that “a war is coming to this island’”, the Monster tells Widmore. That “wise man” was of course Widmore, who told the original John Locke that in “The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham”. Lockeness informs Widmore that he just started one. Ladies and gentleman, it is on like Donkey Kong.
Sun continues to be unable to speak English. Jack says it’s probably only temporary. Just then Richard and Hurley come back. Richard wants to go after the man in black. Sun again doesn’t give a shit about saving the world, she just wants Jin. She yells this really loudly in Korean and walks away.
After Zoe informs the audience she’s a geophysicist (I guess that’ll come in handy later), Jin is handed Sun’s camera by Widmore. Why Widmore is hanging out with Zoe and Jin and not getting a change of pants after being told he started a war with the Monster might be one of the biggest Lost mysteries of all. Anyway, the camera has pictures of Ji Yeon. Jin and only Jin and not me feel human feelings since he’s never seen his daughter before. Widmore says he understands because he has a daughter too. We know we know…He says he wants to reunite him and Sun, but it’d be short lived if “the thing masquerading as John Locke” gets off the island. It’s time to show him “the package”. Ew.
Jack reminisces about his residency days and checks to see if Sun can still at least write in English. She writes, “yes.” Jack went back to the tomato garden that Sun said was all dead and found the one stubborn tomato that stayed alive. Jack tells Sun he’ll do everything he can to help her find Jin. Jack is playing hero again.
Lockeness goes back to camp crazy. Sawyer is disappointed. He asks where Sayid is. Lockeness tells him he’s doing recon. We then see Sayid hiding in the water looking at a drugged someone being dragged out of the submarine. IT’S DESMOND! Without Penny. BUT IT’S DESMOND! But no Penny. Holy shit.
Don’t Call It An Alternative Alternative Timeline
Jin is more forthcoming in this alternate universe with Sun. After he’s done dealing with customs at the airport, he answers Sun’s question and says that he doesn’t know where that money came from; he just does whatever Sun’s father tells him to do. Wow, they have a much healthier marriage this time. Turns out though that they aren’t married. Oh that explains it. Jin visits Sun’s hotel room, and it gets really sultry really quickly – we even see Sun’s bra! I watch this with my family damn. Jin and Sun are trying to be the Cinemax version of Desmond and Penny I guess. After they fuck, there’s a knock on the door. Jin hides. It’s Martin Keamy. “Hi, I’m a friend of your father’s.” This kind of has a Pulp Fiction feel to it doesn’t it, considering we know how this all ends for Marty?
For now he’s still being a prick, and asks for the money along with the watch. They don’t have the money, and also Sun doesn’t feel like speaking English. They go to the master of nine languages, Mikhail. Charlie’s goddamn murderer piece of shit translates that they can get the money from the bank. “But you wont tell Mr. Paik that I’m boning his daughter right?” Keamy just wants the money.
At the bank, Mikhail and Sun find out her account has been closed by her daddy. She thought she was the only one who knew it existed. Keamy meanwhile ties up Jin where we last saw him in this universe in the back of the restaurant. Keamy informs him he did in fact tattle on him and Sun, and the 25K was to murder him. One of Keamy’s last words is “some people just aren’t meant to be together.”
Sayid kills everyone, we know we know…he sets Jin free and wishes him luck. When Mikhail asks a dying Keamy who did this, Jin comes from behind and gets him at gunpoint. There’s a struggle and Jin shoots Mikhail. In the eye! Eye for…your own eye or something. Did it kill him? You never know with that shmuck. Sun caught a bullet too sadly. “I’m pregnant,” she says. Fucking Mikhail.
Jin and Sun continue to get fucked over. And Damon Lindelof tweeted after the episode that, “In one week, the conversation is going to change.” Does this conversation mention people a racist would consider to be Godzilla type characters? I hope so.
Things To Say To Keep Up With The Comedy Duo Of Miles and Lapidus
“Unless Alpert’s covered in bacon grease I’m not sure Hurley can track anything” “Hey don’t talk about bacon.”
“No, that would be ridiculous.”
“Stop that, I feel like I’m in a Godzilla movie.”
“Why won’t you believe me?” “Because you’re speaking.”
“Are we supposed to believe that?” “Ask the man who talks with the dead.”
“Anything else I know is of myth, ghost stories and whispers in the night.”
P.S.
No ABC, I am not watching V.
Kate is not a candidate. This week. This fluctuates a bit too much for me.
The last time some bad guy told Jin something to the effect of “Some people aren’t meant to be together” was back in “Exodus” when the Paik crony in the bathroom told Jin he “would never be free.” Of course, we knew better then. Keamy’s statement however might end up being right, and that’s bullshit man.
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