Shut Up It's On

Last Lost for two whole weeks. Ugh. This show is on full speed ahead mode and it’s great.

Man In Black says he’s glad Jack showed up. Jack agrees to “catch up” when Hurley gives him permission. “You look just like him,” Jack says. NICE. Jack is awesome now. “Why John Locke?” “Because he was stupid enough to think he was brought here for a reason.” Jack wants to know if the MIB ever was Christian, particularly on the third day on the island. He confirms this! “Why?” “You needed to find water.” The MIB reiterates that everyone has to get on the plane together. “John Locke wasn’t a believer. He was a sucker.”

Claire was following Jack and Locke this whole time. Why? “Because he’s my brother.” “Did he tell you he was pretending to be our father?” “Yeah.” Claire returns to being creepy by telling Jack that by just even having a conversation with MIB, he’s agreeing to go through with his plan. Doesn’t seem fair, and definitely doesn’t seem like free will.

Sawyer is spreading the word about his submarine plan. “What about Sayid?” “He’s gone over to the dark side.” Ah but Anakin got over that dark side business. “Who’s Anakin?” So Sawyer never saw the new Star Wars movies?! WHAT A REVEAL!

Zoe shows up, and gets her crew to “show them they mean business”. Behind MIB, an explosion goes off. MIB doesn’t even flinch. Zoe tells him to return Desmond to the Widmore camp or else they’ll kablooey his ass too. This forces MIB’s hand and he insists everyone goes ahead to the other island to the plane. Sawyer pulls Jack aside and tells him about his deal with Widmore, and he needs to get everyone but Claire and Sayid on the submarine. MIB tells Sayid to go kill Desmond. Sayid is hesitant for some reason before agreeing to do this. For someone with no soul he sure seems like a pussy.

Desmond asks Sayid why he’s doing this. He tells him about Nadia, that MIB said she can bring him back. “What are you gonna tell her when she asks how you brought her back?” Michael had a similar problem. We still don’t know if Sayid went through with it or not. Probably not. Okay there’s no way he did.

Sawyer tells Kate the plan, calling Lapidus “a pilot who looks like he stepped out of a Burt Reynolds movie” in the process. (He later calls him “chesty”. No Jimmy Buffett reference though?) Kate is all, “But I came here to get Claire.” “That’s before Claire drank Locke’s Kool Aid.”

Jack asks Claire why she trusts MIB. “Because he’s the only one who didn’t abandon me.” Passive aggresssiveeeeeee. When MIB for some reason goes off on his own little adventure, Jack gets the Oceanic and Ajira people away from the Temple others and Claire to meet Sawyer. Claire just glares and glares. They meet with Kate and Sawyer on the Elizabeth to get to the sub. Claire shows up with Mr. Gun. Kate invites her to come. Kate tells her she’s sorry she raised Aaron. Sheds a tear and everything. It works. Twitter complains Claire should have pulled the trigger. Yeahyeah…

Jack tells Sawyer it “doesn’t feel right” leaving the island. “If that thing wants us to leave…” That’s a good point. Sawyer tells him to get off his boat. Your boat? Sawyer tells Jack if he wants to take a “leap of faith” do it on your own time. Jack jumps off like its nothing and swims back to shore, greeted by the MIB and his goons.

“Sawyer took my boat didn’t he?” Oh my god it’s not your boat its Sawyer’s, he just said so.

The Elizabeth crew land on Hydra. Sun and Jin reunite. Suddenly she can speak English. Well that was pointless. Jin promises they’ll never be apart again. Oh dude don’t ever say that. Zoe is like that’s awesome, we’re going to have to put you at gunpoint. Sawyer says he thought they had a deal. Zoe says the deal is off. And I say that’s pretty ironic. While I’m saying that Zoe detonates the shit out of the other island.

As the promised fireworks begin, Jack gets shaken up. Man In Black picks him up to safety. “Relax Jack, you’re with me now.” Greeeeaaattt.

In sideways land Locke is in the back of the ambulance being rushed to the hospital. As he’s being wheeled to the ER Sun is being wheeled in at the exact same time and says to Jin in Korean, “No! No! It’s him!”

James Ford is chatting with Kate at the police station. Kate claims she is not a murderer, and then thinks James is flirting with her. Noooo. Kate tries to blackmail him by pointing out she knows he was in Australia. He likes her style. Miles interrupts to talk to him about the Keamy/Sun/Jin stuff, and shows him ATM surveillance footage of Sayid. James makes a racist comment. He’s from the south so it’s cool. Sayid is in a rush to leave from Nadia’s house. “What did you do Sayid?” “You know, this or that.” Miles shows up at the door. As Sayid tries to escape through the back James trips him up with the garden hose.

Claire shows up at the adoption agency. Desmond creepily saddles up beside her and introduces himself as the guy she met at the airport last week. Desmond tells her she should have a lawyer and insists he sees his, gratis. Because he’s a charming scotsman and it’s a television show, she agrees. The lawyer is Ilana. She tells Claire they’ve been looking for her.

Jack and his son show up in the same building Claire and Desmond did. Man coincidences are crazy. They’re there to hear Christian’s will. Ilana is the lawyer, of course. “Do you believe in fate?” she asks. Claire is already in the room. Claire delicately says, “Oh right Christian, he was my dad also.” Jack gets an urgent phone call and postpones the awkward family reunion for now.

Jin tells Sun it’s going to be okie dokie smokie. At that moment Jack and David walk by. He asks how he could not have known about Claire. “Well grandpa kept to himself.” “You mean like you?” Mhm. Anyway yeah it turns out he needs to do tricky spinal surgery on Locke. Duh. Locke saves Jack in one universe and Jack is going to save Mr. Clean in the other. As part of the surgical procedure he needs a mirror and the reflection is Locke. Symbolism and junk. He remarks, “I think I know this guy.”

And then there were four.