Shut Up It's On

A good ole Ron Swanson episode. Or is it? It is. A little. More of a Leslie/April episode. But Ron is in it? What am I saying. Look! A Bird!

So in the cold opening, Mark comes to Leslie asking for advice, he plans on asking Ann to move in with him. Leslie says that Ann probably won’t agree unless he has intentions to marry her, and he does. Leslie is a little floored by the news, maybe upset?

Apparently April never learned there was a March 31st ever, so she unintentionally kept moving all of Ron’s meeting to this day that actually does exist. There are 93 in all. Ron tells April that she knows what to do, get Leslie to be excited about the prospect of doing this many meetings in one day. Of course she does, she even gets some comfy boots from Tom to help her day. In her first meeting though, she learns that a historic site is being compromised for a birthday party for the CEO of Sweetums and immediately goes to rectify the situation, leaving Ron stranded with these meetings.

Ron enlists the help of Ann, April and Andy (not Jerry, he needs people with a brain AND a pulse) to just listen to people talk. Don’t agree to anything, just make them feel heard. Ann is up front about her position in the department, that she doesn’t have one and is a nurse, which causes her to have to diagnose just about every person that rolls on through. Andy is having a hard time saying no to people since it seems like they aren’t asking for a lot and might’ve agreed to a new aquatic center. We aren’t sure. April though, she spits out bureaucratic jargon like she was made for this. Turns out, she doesn’t even know what she’s doing but boy does it sound good.

Even with the extra help, Ron still has 20 meetings and unleashes his anger on April in front of Andy and Ann. April tucks in one more meeting, making in total 94 for the day, when she quits.

While this is happening, Leslie and Tom are out trying to save a gazebo from being torn down. The woman responsible for these changes is Jessica Wicks. A former Ms. Pawnee, the one we met when Leslie was invited to judge that beauty pageant? Yeah her. She’s married to this old bag and made some monster changes to this mansion already and the one thing left was the gazebo. She refuses to leave it up and Leslie refuses to back down. Since Ron won’t help her get anything done on this, and Sweetums practically owns all of Pawnee, there is nothing Leslie can do, so she chains herself to the electronic fence out front. Too bad it doesn’t open in the middle and she made Tom throw away the key so, it was a lost cause. The gazebo was torn down and Mark and Ann’s night is cut short to help get her down. While mourning the gazebo she admits to Tom that shes upset about Ann and Mark because she’s losing two single friends. Tom is oddly reassuring and kind, and was not prepared for Leslie to jump out and crash the party for Nick. Leslie just says her peace and leaves though, much less embarrassing than normal.

While getting his shoes shined, Ron and Andy talk of April quitting. Andy convinces him he needs to get her back because she was the only one that could do the job Ron wanted to be done. And he’s right so Ron goes to April’s house, which is oddly loving and affectionate. April agrees once she hears that Andy wanted her to come back. She also tells Ron she knows who Duke Silver is, but she hasn’t told anybody. When back in the office April is back to postponing meetings and not answering the phones. Just how Ron likes it.

Mantras to go by when sacrificing your tiny body:

“This situation is a blood-soaked nightmarish hellscape”
“I don’t know anything about infant care…My God, I could’ve killed her.”
“Tell me straight-are you a Chinese?”
“I’m a gold digger digger.”
“”Look like the only other day he has open is Marchtember oneteth.”