When the days of my senior year of high school were winding down I had one of five conversations I ever had with an acquaintance of mine whose name is 83 percent likely to have been Rob. I do not at all remember what the topic of conversation was, but we were most definitely at one point walking side by side on the sixth floor, and he absolutely said that I was most likely in our graduating class to start a cult. It’s been nine years and I still don’t know whether it was an insult, a compliment, or just a strange observation.
Whatever the case, I have yet to start a cult, despite writing on this website for eight months now. Bummer City. In the meantime, I guess I can enjoy myself watching Douglas Reynholm’s diving into a cult’s rabbit hole of crazy.
Beth Gaga Shaggy is the leader of a not-a-cult following of Spaceology. Spaceology seems to be a humorous combination of Scientology and the pseudo-science of The Secret, and Douglas becomes a big supporter. Douglas ends up getting his wish of having a robot hand when his attempt at a DIY tattoo results in amputation. All hail Gaga Shaggy!
Douglas’ story wasn’t independent of the IT department: Jen’s suggestion of hiring a masseuse to Roy for his back problem provoked Douglas to rant about Beth Gaga Shaggy’s disgust over masseues. Roy’s masseuse inexplicably kisses Roy on the ass at the end of the massage session, leading Roy to sue. This reminded me of George Costanza’s issue with massages, the difference being he actually went so far as to take the man to court. Douglas and the majority of the jury happened to be masseuse-hating Spaceologists, so when Moss began a slow clap after a passionate speech by Roy on the stand, Douglas and the others clapped along. If that isn’t a mistrial I don’t know what is.
Jen catches the eye of the very shy and awkward keyboard player in a rock band. She ends up performing backup vocals for the group when someone can’t make it and gets herself and her new keyboard boyfriend fired in the process. During the credits she grows bored of the musician and realizes that Roy was right: she was only interested because he was in a band; even if he was only the keyboardist.
P.S.
“What a ludicrous display last night.” Considering what trouble Roy and Moss got into the last time they used that line to befriend soccer fans, why is he still using it? The callback was unexpected and appreciated though.
Moss has popcorn and water ready for a story.
Things To Say After You Tell The Musician The New Song Is “Great”
“He kissed me on my arse.”
“We spaceologists take these things very seriously.”
“My arse is not a canvas.”
“I would use MY robot hand for good.”
“No one’s like Jen. No one. I’ve come to realize she’s actually a very odd person.”
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