Usually Saturday Night Live season finales would be peppered with celebrities to ease the creative burden of writing a twentieth episode of a season and to give viewers some positive things to talk about the show during the summer hiatus. (Think last year’s big star-filled Billy Joel singalong.) But this wasn’t the case for last night’s season finale. We can all blame Betty White for that. Thanks a lot you old hag.

Still, this was an okay installment.

RSS feeds tend to not inform its readers of videos from NBC’s website being embedded onto other websites. For example this one.

30 Rock Season One Greatness
This sketch works just on the facial reactions of the cast members pretending to be pathetic high school athletes alone. Baldwin’s hatred for Sudekis and the ironic perfect attendance award is just icing on the funny cake. And way to go Jessi Klein and Lutz for killing it in the background!

Nasim Pedrad’s awkward female character works for me a hell of a lot more than any Kristen Wiig creature.

It’s kind of scary that Bobby Moynihan is getting better at his Snooki impersonation.

30 Rock Season Three Mediocrity

Cold open involved representatives of the evil triumvirate responsible for the oil spill. Dolphins with mops is actually not entirely stupid, if only because it’d look really cute. It wont actually help with the oil spill but we’ll certainly feel better.

“I’d like to speak to all of you tonight, or more realistically, watching in front of a computer tomorrow.” That is more true than Lorne and his Michaelettes would care to believe.

The digital update was mostly a whole lot of nothing, but the CGI demon eyes made me legit LOL. Also, I now want to be on drugs.

Has there ever been a character that went from appearing in sketches to being a recurring Weekend Update guest before Stefon? I’m curious, because I’m a nerd like that. Also, I am intrigued by German smurfs.

Weekend Update gets saved from the cellar for the Danny Glover line.

Time travel microwaves are dangerous. This sketch was probably incredibly difficult to organize and execute, a fact that distracted me a little bit.

Take the shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Garth and Kat still don’t fucking rehearse? What a terrible message for children.

Bad: This took way too long to set-up. Good: Jenny Slate in old fashioned garb. Bad: Baldwin and Slate walk offstage before the cut to commercial. Good: The concept of getting a hand job from a Gertrude is just plain amusing.

I’m okay with Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. We’re acquaintances, and I am a well wisher in that I do not wish them any specific harm.

Being Related To Stephen Baldwin Awfulness

Oh great another awkward Kristen Wiig character. I need that like I need a punch in the face. It just makes me UGH. Like UGH with this!

I’ve had just about enough of Grady Wilson. Maybe I’m just not getting laid enough but I don’t find it funny at all.

Preniva. Sally Field is not fucking around you guys. I say bring it on.

P.S.

“I PROMISE you I hate you more.”

At some point this summer I’ll be doing a write-up of the best sketches from this past season. If I remember. So someone remind me.

Betty White is getting the credit for this being the highest rated episode of Saturday Night Live this season. While it’s true that the audience was REALLY excited to see her, I thought the real draw was the one night only return of the best female cast members of the last ten years. Poehler (preggers again), Rudolph, Gasteyer, Fey, Shannon and Dratch all made sure Nasim Pedrad had absolutely no air time, and Pedrad herself probably didn’t care.

I mean, she probably did care, but felt like she couldn’t complain without seeming selfish.

Golden Girls Hilarious

Inexplicably a Debbie Downer sketch was cut. Thankfully the dress rehearsal version was put online by his Lorneness. Turns out her negative attitude is all Betty White’s fault. I always assumed it was someone at the leg vein clinic.

Oh man grandmas always causing trouble when you’re trying to defuse a bomb. It’s like they WANT to die.

The cold open featured Armisen as usual, but thankfully it wasn’t another spiritless Obama sketch. Betty White’s 18 second applause didn’t phase the group, and Wiig’s character really should consider bangs.

I love that the audience laughs when she mentions her actual age and the actual year she originally was on a live television show. Betty’s takedown of Facebook isn’t quite up there with William Shatner calling Trekkies losers, but it was funny. Well played octogenarian! Yes, I “like” this.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show Okay I’m Somewhat Entertained

Delicious Dish! If only they waited until next week for Alec Baldwin’s 56th hosting appearance to have a sequel to “Schwetty Balls”. I had to look up how to spell “Schwetty”. Anyway yes, Betty White’s muffin is delicious and surprisingly salty.

This hit too close to home because my grandma used to tell people from her little corner of the room that I was a lesbian.

Weekend Update making jokes.

Sally O’Malley is alive! And somehow still 50, even though she always looked 60.

Really?! With Seth, Amy and Tina. Seth Meyers insisted on staying? Really?!

Oh Scared Straight, you had me at Betty White’s wig. Seriously where did that shoe come from? Who throws his shoe?!

I would have complained that this is a rip-off of the classic and hilarious Christopher Walken census sketch, but I’m pretty sure Tina Fey wrote that.

Bringing Down The House Terrible

Manuel Ortiz Show is that sketch where they dance, talk about Maury Povich Show type stuff and dance some more. If you just tuned in to see Betty White dance, you are the only kind of person who found this to be a highlight.

Things To Say To The Wonderful Wizard of Ass

“We called him Poocaso.”
“It’s called micro penis.”
“So?! We had amigos con benefits.”
“You’re barking up the wrong lesbian.”

Well this week was the exact opposite as last week – I hated the episode while the critics and few friends that still watch the show liked it. I personally found the entire show to have little to no energy to it but I’ve been wrong before believe it or not. Even a fully functioning watch will someday get stolen as they say.

Listen: RSS feeds don’t want you to know this write-up embeds video of all of the sketches.

Gabourney as a depressing woman Oscar nominated style Great

Alarm Clocks Beep Beep

Hamilton is trying super hard not to be a racist. But the Larry Bird theater sounds like a good place to watch IFC films.

Look, Precious lost to The Hurt Locker so it’s only good in comparison good

Gabby’s monologue had Sidibe claiming that people confuse her with the character Precious. I liked it just for the ladies’ outfits to be honest. Also Sidibe yelling “I’m fifty!” at the end of the song was cute. Rare to see a corpulent black woman make a Molly Shannon reference. It’s rare for me anyway. Since this involved anything remotely musical Hulu and NBC.com wouldn’t stream it online.

“My daddy used to sell Wikipedias, that’s why we was always so poor” saved this from being a total dud.

Digital Update: Cherry Battle. Not good or bad, just there.

They did this Danish actors getting American pop culture wrong thing before, and better. Also the timing. Was. All wrong as far as the newspaper quote voiceovers were concerned.

Judy Grimes made me laugh out loud just kidding.

I usually like Stephon, but it wasn’t quite right.

I’m a SNL writer John Mulaney stand-up fan so it was cool to see him make his on camera debut with a funny diatribe on Girl Scout Cookies. TAKE EM DOWN A PEG JOHN!

Hah, pope.

Mariah Carey With A Mustache Bad

Cold open had Obama talking about the lack of cooperation from the banks. Aside from Armisen’s Obama being blown away by how much a dinner with the CEO’s cost (“$85,000!”) it was a waste.

Suze Orman. Who cares?

I was waiting for someone to make fun of Steve Harvey guest hosting on Millionaire, but the entire skit just involved Kenan Thompson as Harvey mispronouncing simple words. Insulting and not funny. Kenan better watch his back, Harvey is actually jacked now.

Did MGMT decide to experiment and see what happens if they take Ambien before they perform?

This wouldn’t stop. Wow.

This episode wasn’t as bad as the stinky old media said it was. Oh, Ke$ha was Ke$ha, and there were a few stinkers in the bunch, but it wasn’t January Jones hosting awful. Plus it made fun of the ICP.

Ryan Phillippe only hosted SNL because he’s starring in the MacGruber movie this summer. What has he done recently? Nothing. What HAS he done besides Cruel Intentions*? I had to check IMDB to remember he was in a movie I liked but am not sure what others thought, Igby Goes Down, and in 54, which I saw once on cable for five minutes with Mike Myers being all “serious” and shit and just had to turn away from. So those are the categories: Igby Goes Down Excellence, Cruel Intentions Average and 54 Suckitude.

* Never saw Cruel Intentions. It is in fact absolutely average in my mind, since it is neither good nor bad to me.

Yo: Videos of all of the sketches mentioned are embedded in this post, but RSS feeds don’t want you to know that.

Igby Goes Down Excellent

The only thing funnier than this Insane Clown Posse parody…

Is the actual video they’re mocking.

A moment of silence for “Ass” Dan please.

Thank you.

The opening monologue was meta to the max, with SNL characters asking Phillippe if they would get movies themselves like MacGruber (Phillippe is coming out of his 157-year retirement to star in the movie this summer, which strangely enough is getting some good reviews). I’m a sucker for any “What Up With That?!”, even if it’s only for a MacGruber sketch long duration, and the “Dick in a Box” guy trying to pitch what sounds like a pornographic version of “Seven” was amusing.

Shake Weight DVD. I don’t have to explain this if you’re a dude. You know what I’m sayin?

The end of the show when Ke$ha, who just $tunk up the joint, is mostly ignored by the cast.

Cruel Intentions Average

The cold open shoehorned the Larry King getting divorced for an eighth time story with the Icelandic volcano situation. It was smart to have Kristen Wiig’s Bjork make an appearance as the representative to Iceland, considering most of the SNL audience probably is unfamiliar with Sigur Ros. And hahas to Richie Branson.

And I said what about breakfast at Tiffany’s…

Today’s Sponge Women’s Weightlifting Championship of 1986 with the sexual innuendo spouting ESPN Classic guys. I’m still okay with this skit being thrown at us once a month because it features Sudeikis and Forte.

The Hip Hop Kids. I liked this sketch a year ago when LeBron James hosted. I dug the Dwight Gooden shout-out and it’s never been more obvious that Sudeikis is the best worst dancer of all-time.

Digital Short involved Samberg doing a funny voice who keeps popping up in Phillippe’s life. It has a twist ending that you can see coming, if that makes any sense.

Father Swimcoach Scoutmaster. “Why applaud for him?”

Second hand news. Did you hear a volcano went off is Islip? This was a good concept and decent execution. I don’t ever want to meet this “Lunatic Tom”.

54 Suckitude

Mort Mort Feingold, accountant to the stars. How could they possibly let anyone else besides Samberg playing Shaun White? Took me out of the whole thing. I realized in this sketch that the most effective way to get a laugh with a celebrity impression is to have one character say “Oh it’s Mel Gibson” and THEN show the actor impersonating Mel Gibson.

Yeah, not bothering with the Ke$ha stuff. She ripped someone off and still was like huh? She was more cents than sense hahahehe.

I don’t know but Weekend Update didn’t cut it this week. I think Ke$ha bummed Meyers out. By the way did you know Seth Meyers has been on SNL for NINE years?

James Carville is included in the “I’m disappointed in you Weekend Update” portion.

Teen Talk with Armisen as the woefully inept substitute teenage counselor Roger Brush. Again. If it wasn’t just the same joke over and over again it’d be good. It’s a shame the character has a lot of potential.

“I Got This”. No, you don’t. Bill Hader has finally run out of funny one-note quiz shows.

P.S.

There was another sketch. It was the recurring one involving the four guys saying over-the-top things and then singing along to a song. The “singing along to a song” part made sure NBC couldn’t get it cleared to run on the internet. Strangely, Ke$ha agreed to have her music put online. I’ve always envied people with hubris without the actual talent.

So true story: when this edition of SNL aired this past Saturday night I was actually not in my home in front of my television. Look, it happens. Because of this egregious mistake of trying to be more social (ew) I missed whatever Steve Martin and Mark Sanchez participated in on the show. But thanks Hulu for letting me see the good nights with those two celebrities and not the sketch they were in for some stupid lawyer reason.

Anyway, in honor of Tina Fey hosting, tonight’s categories will be 30 Rock seasons one and two for the great sketches, SNL in the Tina Fey writing era for the average ones and What Date Night seems to be for the shitacular bits.

Hey: While it may not look like it on the RSS feed, video embeds of every sketch mentioned are posted in this write-up.

30 Rock seasons one and two funny

This is the first time all year that an Obama cold open was legit funny. Here, Barack Obama wants to know about your kinky sexual habits, in order to like, build sexier roads or something. Also he wants to know if you criticized his health care plan, if a grandparent is about to croak, and if and where you hide your weapons.

The Brownie Husband commercial was right up Tina Fey’s alley, considering Liz Lemon seems to have a sexual passion for foods. I can’t imagine these marriages lasting very long.

I’m growing to like the new female cast member that isn’t Jenny Slate. I’m sure this character would get tiring after awhile, but not yet.

SNL in the Tina Fey writing era humorousness

The Masters sketch could have probably been better, but it could have been a lot worse! Optimism!

The Sarah Palin Network. Funny or kind of scary? I’d watch Todd.

Who is this kid? Someone should make him rich by exploiting the stupidity of tween girls. But he should definitely not get acting lessons. Also, does Tina know how to sing? Good for her!

Weekend Update with the jokez

Jason Sudekis was a perfect fit to play the devil. He doesn’t even say anything particularly funny, but he makes it work anyway.

Kristen Wiig amazingly was only in one thing all night. I guess Tina made her redundant. The Avatar tk-tk-tk and the Team Bullock reveal saved it from the bargain bin.

Women’s News

Lolene the 9″ hooker. This reminded me of Timmy Von Trimble, the 2″ racist that Jon Wurster used to play on occasion on The Best Show on WFMU, but hey they use the word “bidet” here, so it’s all good.

What Date Night seems to be bad

In this universe Al Roker is a fly club hopping mofo, and Tina Fey is Dina Lohan. This gets a big thumbs down because it’s a total rip-off of David Alan Grier as Bryant Gumbel in an SNL sketch 10-15 years earlier. You remember that right? It had Gumbel asking “Where my bitches at?” as soon as he threw the Today show into commercial. Yeah, that was twenty times funnier.

The last time Jude Law hosted Saturday Night Live, Ashlee Simpson was the musical guest. The entire lip-syncing incident was a shame, because Law’s great job was completely overshadowed. This time around, they hired a band that was too old to cause trouble: Pearl Jam.

Listen: RSS feeds don’t want you to know that there are embedded videos of most of the skits in this post.

A.I. I Can Act Like A Robot Sex Machine Convincingly Goodness

Broadview Security will protect single women from all of the men and K.D. Langs that want to kill her. I’m glad somebody saw this commercial and that that somebody writes for a television show that parodies things.

Seriously ladies, guys do not want to kill you. Really. Unless you know, you’re asking for it.

New theory: Pearl Jam traveled back in time and caused Buddy Holly’s plane to crash. Also, I think Bobby Moynihan is a Lost fan.

Second Banana in Sherlock Holmes Average

Julian Casablancas and Andy Samberg finally got around to doing a video for “Boombox”, one of the tracks on the Lonely Island CD that came out over a year ago now. I was waiting for this Digital Update for awhile.

Yes, he stepped on the brakes! Prius got too truthful in their advertising.

Really?!?! with Seth and Jerry Seinfeld. The Marriage Ref? Reallllyyyy?

Eric Massa’s exit interview. Exit interviews are comedy goldmines.

Talk Show with Ravish. This was cute. The Jay Leno walking with Ravish segment of it was a nice touch.

This would have worked better if Sam Elliott was Jeff Bridges, and if Al Pacino wasn’t suddenly from New Orleans.

CliffsNotes version of Hamlet. Weird that Law didn’t promote his upcoming movie.

Weekend Update. I can’t believe Harry Smith agreed to do that. Actually I can.

Yeah, that Whoopi Goldberg commercial last week was quite jarring.

Pearl Jam: Dinosaur Music

Alfie, The Box Office Bomb Bad

They should really stop doing these. I’ll give Jude Law credit for the Russian accent and the camel toe.

Again, Jude Law’s impressive accent is no match for unfunny writing

Anyone who knows me knows I am totally in the tank for Zach Galifianakis. I’ve been a fan of his since his 2001 Comedy Central Presents, which he concluded by revealing he was wearing a dress, with musical accompaniment by an all-female choir singing “Eternal Flame”. The guy mixes one-liners that Steven Wright would be proud of with random, unjustified and hilarious fits of anger. Zach is so good that he is even funny when he bombs. In a recent podcast interview, he recounted how host Marc Maron and himself enjoyed dinner at an Indian restaurant. “I phoned ahead to reserve a table. To get an Indian reservation…I’m sorry that was so terrible.” He then laughed. A lot of other people did too.

After years of staying under the radar, everyone got to know Galifianakis as the corpulent weirdo in last year’s The Hangover. Zach finally made it big. And fortunately, Lorne Michaels was paying attention.

Listen: RSS feeds don’t want you to know that there are embedded videos of most of the skits in this post.

Live at the Purple Onion Goodness

I’d have to say one of the best monologues in show history, if not the best. They just let Zach go and do his thing and boy did the Marijuana Santa Claus Bunny go. When he mentions remembering hosting “something” before, he was correct: ten years ago he hosted Late World with Zach on VH-1, a late night talk show doomed from the start when he was told he couldn’t make fun of artists like Creed or Celine Dion.

You’d think that after over 700 episodes of SNL that somebody would have made a joke about not getting the musical guest’s name right, but this is the first time I remember anyone doing that. Poor Hoobastank.

Boy that Zach really IS everywhere these days. The twist at the end was particularly inspired.

It had to be done with Galifianakis as host: What Up With That?! I think I’ve said before that by now this bit is more “fun” than “funny”, but hey, fun is three-fifths of the word funny, right?

I had to watch this twice, because during the first few minutes of my original viewing of it I kept wondering what character Zach was going to play. Turns out he went with ambidextrous disco flute player R.J. Sizzle. So predictable. I always love Lindsey Buckingham always being too good of a sport for repeatedly getting bumped from the show for some reason, and did I mention Paul Rudd was in it? Because he was!

Zach is stalking Hoda Kotb. I like how they don’t even bother changing Zach’s name, as if the actual Galifianakis would stalk a fourth-hour Today Show personality himself.

In the 12:55 writer’s sketch, Zach shaved his beard to basically do his effeminate twin brother Seth character. Galifianakis and Bill Hader both had trouble keeping straight faces during the sketch, which I’m always a sucker for. Also it was legitimately funny, even if it was really just a cousin of the Will Ferrell/Cheri Oteri “Dog Show!” sketches.

Zach put on a fake beard for the closing credits, confusing a lot of people on the Twitter. “Thank you for the magic of life!” No Zach, thank YOU.

Bored to Death Average

Hit or miss with the Weekend Update jokes, as always.

Vampire Weekend’s Ezra Hoenig seems to want to be John Lennon Rickenbacker plucker with James Dean hair. PICK AN ANTIQUATED HERO AND STICK WITH IT, HIPSTER!

Will Forte’s Herstory Song. Helen Keller is a lazy target, but come on; that bitch deserves it.

Bidet is said a lot. Aside from appearing on the stilts at the very very end of What Up With That?, this was Andy Samberg’s only appearance on the show.

Yeah we get it, CNN relies too much on Twitter and they’re too old to truly understand the medium. Bit was saved by Zach’s two appearances of his own little situation room.

Out Cold Awful

This started the show. Amazingly, on the episode that had the best monologue in history, SNL precedes it with one of the worst cold opens of all-time. Seriously, it was the Beyonce music video of awful. It was one joke told for four minutes.

I have certain opinions about the excessively kissing family and what it does to certain citizens of the United States, but I’m not Johnny Huffington-Post or nothin’. In terms of humor, this joke isn’t funny anymore. It didn’t help that Zach was clearly nervous in the sketch, his first of the night, causing him to miss a couple of beats.

I just kept thinking how much better it would had been if Zach played Mo’Nique in this. Or Kel Mitchell.

Things to write to Hoya Kotb

“STOP CLAPPING!”
“We have a great show, Hoobastank is here! What’s that?”
“This bidet…”
“I’m a big fan of dark comedies…that’s why I love the Wayans brothers.”
“I was in a Rascal Flatts video once.”
“You smell like a bunch of old stinky Bojangles sausage biscuits!”
“I live in Brooklyn.” Audience applauds. “I hate it.”

Listen: The RSS feeds don’t want you to know that there is video embedded in this and every SNL entry.

Just biding time before next week’s Zach Galifianakis episode. It hasn’t even aired yet but it’s the third greatest Saturday Night Live of all-time, according to No Seriously Digest.

For now, Jennifer Lopez.

In Living Color Flygirl Good

The man, the myth, the legend, David Paterson! “You found out I was a bad governor? Who told you that? Everyone?!” Also, New Jersey sucks.

All hot women are crazy. “Waitwaitwaitwait I got something…no I don’t.”

“Smash Mouth came out of my closet and sang that song again!” Super random and terrific. Of course, NBC couldn’t put up the video online because of music clearance issues.

My new ringtone: Flags of the World

Jenny From The Block Played At The Duane Reade I Worked At Every Day For My Three Week Career And I Didn’t Blow My Brains Out Average

Quincy Jones shows us We Are The World 3: Raising Prevention For The Disaster That Was We Are The World 2. Good premise, adequate execution. Was Bill Hader Eddie Vedder? And good for JLo knocking that bitch Rihanna down a peg.

Mannifer Lopez and JBlow. Look forward to seeing them on the next Jersey Shore.

I guess it’s weird that the two types of jokes used are the old comedy standard of taking what somebody says too literally and making coarse douche references. Rarely see those together.

Because I’m motherfucking Martha Stewart.

Weekend Update

Kind of a pitch-perfect take on what happens when someone insists on showing you an internet video off their laptop. Props for using comeuppance, one of my favorite words.

Spanish soap operas. Predictably, it only gets good when Sudeikis and Hader show up.

Jenny Slate does her best “He looka like a man” impression.

I’m Guessing The Wedding Planner Bad

Wait – Jennifer Lopez is from the Bronx?

Telemundo doesn’t understand why anybody cares about the Winter Olympics. I don’t understand why they performed this bit. Oh there’s so much we don’t understand!

Friday night was the final episode of The Tonight Show hosted by Conan O’Brien. Seven million people watched.

Where were they for the past seven months?

I struggled over the weekend to properly write about the final episode. In the end, I found it difficult to separate it with the entire failed program. Conan’s speech at the end was heartfelt. The video is below, with some of the transcript:

Walking away from ‘The Tonight Show’ is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Making this choice has been enormously difficult. This is the best job in the world, I absolutely love doing it, and I have the best staff and crew in the history of the medium. But despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment. Every comedian dreams of hosting ‘The Tonight Show’ and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. I’ve had more good fortune than anyone I know and if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-11 parking lot, we’ll find a way to make it fun.

To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I’ll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism- it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere.

Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.

The last fortnight had been must-see television, and neither the acidic Letterman nor the plastic Leno could have really pulled off talking about not being bitter without it coming off as platitudinous.  But I was bothered by Conan saying he did the The Tonight Show “his way”. In fact, he hadn’t – there was a lot of compromise. All of the talk of keeping his hip 12:35 sensibilities to 11:35 was drowned out in O’Brien’s mind with his fear of ruining The Tonight Show legacy – a legacy that no longer really exists. We saw none of the beautifully genius, silly and weird characters like Fedex Pope, Pimpbot 5000 or mini-Jay Leno on the earlier hour – Triumph the Insult Comic Dog made his monthly appearances, but only the Bonarroo sketch seemed to be particularly funny. When the Masturbating Bear showed up on Wednesday’s program it was the first and last time he appeared before midnight, and the world did not end. The lesson Coco taught us the most was something he didn’t say: Don’t compromise your art.

Stuff I Talked To Tilda Swinton About…

- I liked Steve Carell doing the NBC exit interview. I was particularly proud of myself for spotting the Up In The Air references. You know, because it’s such an indie movie.
- “This is cream soda.”
- If HBO decides to take Coco’s advice, Tilda Swinton is totally game.
- Tom Hanks alluded to the O’Brien/Bob Odenkirk/Robert Smigel SNL writing team of the late 80’s. Conan’s first ever appearance on SNL and I’d guess on television was during a 1988 Hanks opening monologue. He has one line but it’s history, and if you don’t respect it you’re doomed to repeat it, like that time when you did that thing that was bad. Remember? History does. (Coco shows up at 3:10.)
- Tom Hanks came out to “Lovely Rita” by The Beatles. Hanks’s wife is of course Rita Wilson, and NBC actually does have to shell out a little more money than they’d like when a Beatles song is played.
- Where was Andy during “Freebird”? Was he already hitting the cream soda?
- Did.not.like Neil Young singing “Long May You Run”. It is so clearly about a friggin car. This isn’t the Jay Leno farewell show (Redux). Someone suggested that perhaps Young was being “meta”. This theory was immediately refuted when I pointed out that he wore a Hawaiian shirt. We all know that anyone who wears a Hawaiian shirt cannot possibly grasp the concepts of meta.
- The Freebird band consisted of Beck, Billy Gibbons (aka ZZ Top dude), Ben Harper, Will Ferrell and his lady Viveca Paulin. I’m 83 percent sure Beck’s guitar wasn’t plugged in. Conan ain’t too shabby on the axe.

The latest:

-This is the final week of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien.
-Team Conan and NBC are close to a deal that would give Conan around $35-40 million dollars and enable him to move to another network in less than a year. Two sticking points are intellectual property rights and the severance package. TMZ reports that O’Brien can keep all of his recurring bits and characters if he stops trashing NBC. Tough call…
- A rally was held today in New York, Chicago and Los Angeles. Conan spoke to the crowd that gathered in front of The Tonight Show studios. The masturbating bear made an appearance. There were chants of “Leno sucks!”, “Monorail!” and “Four more years!”. My favorite though is “All we are saying/Give Conan a chance” to the tune of “Give Peace A Chance”.
-A fascinating New Yorker article from 1978 resurfaced over the weekend about Johnny Carson. He was a bit of an eremite if you ask me.

-This is Conan’s guest list this week, the final week, according to his official website:
Tonight: Martin Scorcese, Colin Furth, KOOZA- Cirque De Soleil
Tuesday: Tom Hanks, Paul Bettany, Spoon
Wednesday: TBA
Thursday: TBA
Friday: TBA

Who IS this TBA? I’m hoping for Norm MacDonald.

For a good laugh, here’s what Jay Leno had to say about letting Conan take over The Tonight Show back in 2004:

Here’s Conan in 2004 yammering on about what an honor it is to one day be the host of The Tonight Show and that NBC and Jay Leno are class acts.

He predicted Clay Aiken coming out of the closet! Wow! Conandamus everybody!

The truth is, late night television has always been full of controversy. Jay Leno is the new Jerry Lewis. Duh.