DirectTV saved Damages from cancellation. Eventually the satellite company will scoop up every single critically-acclaimed and low-rated show in the world. Except Party Down…dammit.

Joshua Jackson held a “Pacey-Con” across the street from Comic-con. He even dressed like Mr. Witter. Joshua Jackson is a cool guy who doesn’t know what to do with himself when Fringe isn’t filming is what I got out of this story.

John Oliver will now be a series regular on Community. Hopefully he will have to defend the English soccer team and use a string of profanities in his counter-argument.

Justin Bieber showed the Twitterverse a shot of him guesting on the Season Premiere of CSI as some sort of jailbird. That’s right girls: he’s a bad boy too. Read more…

Entertainment Weekly featured a promotional photo for the Lost epilogue coming out August 24th. Looks like Ben is still rocking the satchel.

This thing reveals which episodes the actors submitted to get their Emmy nominations. Jon Hamm and John Slattery went with “The Gypsy and The Hobo”. Christina Hendricks went with the one with the severed toe.

Beavis and Butt-Head might possibly probably will be coming back! Music videos will be snarked on again!

Jay Leno’s ratings are virtually the same as Conan O’Brien’s one year ago. What else is there to say?

January Jones and Jason Sudeikis are dating. As Warming Glow said, Sudeikis must be doing his What Up With That? dance nightly. Read more…

john Krasinski married Emily Blunt one week after Jenna Fischler tied the knot. I’d love to see what Creed’s wedding would look like.

The Daily Show is not sexist, says the women who work at The Daily Show. Oh what do they know?

CBS says the 0 in Hawaii-Five-0 is a zero and not a capital O. O really?

J-WOWW launched a clothing line titled “Filthy Couture.” Hey, the girl knows where her slutty bread is buttered. Read more…

Steve Carell will finally be leaving The Office after the upcoming season. As long as Creed is still around, good riddance.

The BET Awards was the second highest rated telecast in the network’s history. First was last year’s MJ tribute heavy affair. Suck it, Daytime Emmys!

Modern Family will be syndicated on USA Network while Glee will run in perpetuity on Oxygen. Both shows are syndicated to your computer right now.

Javier Bardem will be guest starring on the aforementioned Glee next season. I guess we’ll finally find out what REALLY happened to Artie.

Larry King Live will definitely suffer a major blow when Larry King steps down from his hosting duties. Did you guys know he’s only 76 years old? Comedians have implied at least 500 years more than that! Read more…

Party Down was officially canceled today, because apparently you need viewers to stay on the air. Really Starz? Two hundred airings of Year Zero is going to do that much better in the ratings? The answer to my question is no absolutely not. And don’t get me started on Gravity.

At the very least, “Constance Carmell Wedding” was a really good series finale which gave most of the characters a bit open-ended but otherwise satisfying ending.

R.I.P. Party Down.

Spoiler alert: Mad Men season four will involve telephones and looking out a window.

15-year-olds can now audition for American Idol, get off my lawn.

True Blood was renewed by HBO for a fourth season. “Some people like it for some reason,” said HBO in a press release. Read more…

For some reason Breaking Bad was not renewed for a fourth season until the day of the season finale.

The Situation: The Rap song.

They’re re-releasing the first three seasons of Boy Meets World on DVD, but still wont budge on the seasons after that. Why? Because the world is an unfair place.

The first official image of season 4 of Mad Men is this thing. Roger looks annoyed! Sorry for the spoiler. Read more…

Bethenny Getting Married? was the highest rated premiere in Bravo history. I’m unfamiliar with this part of the universe.

Ricky Gervais will laugh like a hyena on Curb Your Enthusiasm at some point next season.

Seinfeld has made 2.7 billion dollars since it’s been off the air. That’s billion with a fucking B. Kramer can definitely afford cable now.

Maura Tierney is officially healthy enough to go back to work. Sadly not for a Newsradio reunion.

The “You are now on a horse” Old Spice guy got himself an NBC development deal. You’re on a horse, look now, you’re now shaking your head at the television business… Read more…

R.I.P. Rue McClanahan

It’s finally here! The first ten minutes or so of Jersey Shore Season Two: The Slutquel

Ken Jeong made a heartfelt speech about his girlfriend’s breast cancer during the MTV Movie Awards, but it was kind of weird because he bookended it with talking about his penis. Read more…

R.I.P. Gary Coleman.

Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse spoke a little bit about the Lost finale.

Apparently in the Season 6 DVD we will see a Hurley/Ben on the island epilogue.

Why didn’t Desmond recognize Libby in the church? Just wanted to mention that.

Here’s a list of the summer premiere dates of cable shows and of network television shows. Highlights seem to be Hell’s Kitchen (June 1st), Losing It With Jillian (June 8th), True Blood (June 13rd), Futurama (June 24th), Louie (June 29th), Mad Men (July 25th), Weeds (August 16th) and Kids In The Hall: Death Comes To Town (August 20th). See? You don’t have to go outdoors in the summer! Read more…